A pirates life sucks
by dax0042
Summary: No one said being a pirate was easy, so Karnage and his crew will prove that.


Once again Don Karnage was planning to sneak into Cape Suzette through the cliffs. This time he was planning on going in with Mad Dog, Dumptruck, Gibber and Hacksaw, but if his great plan was to work, he and his boys would need to look their best.

Don Karnage was dressed up in a fancy light blue tux, he looked at himself in the mirror talking to his reflection as if it was someone else. "I am telling you, Don Karnage, no matter what you wear-your natural good-lookingness is to devastating!" As he stood there idolizing himself, Mad Dog entered the cabin.

Karnage looked at Mad Dog who was dressed in a black business suit with a light brown over coat. "So Mad Dog-how do I look?" he asked, turning around to show off his new getup. Mad Dog didn't seem care about this outfit his captain was wearing. "I don't know captain..." he said, "it's just not you."

Karnage frowned and shook his head. "Of course it is not me, you silly idiot!" he snapped, "I'm going to be somebody else." then he pushed Mad Dog out the door and headed to the Vulture's vast control room. Waiting for him was Gibber, Dumptruck and Hacksaw, who were all dressed up in their Sunday best.

"Attention, my men!" Karnage shouted, getting his crew members to stand up straight. "We are about to put into a action the most clever-most daring-most ingenious caper in pirate history." he bragged with confidence. "By now you know the details like the back of your hands," the pirates looked at the palms of their hands, puzzled by the captains words.

Karnage saw their confusion and decided it was time to put his plan into action. "Let phase one begin Immediately," he said calmly, but before he left he gave a warning to his crew. "If you screw this up, I'll rip you little bit size pieces then feed you to the sharks!"

Meanwhile, down on the docks outside the office of Higher for Hire, Baloo was being lectured on how to run a business. Rebecca his boss and girlfriend was really mad at him for costing her 20,000 dollars just for delivering his cargo to the wrong place. "This is a business!" she shouted, pointing at the sign that hung outside her office. "And a business has to make money! Your a liability, Baloo! And because of your slow timing I'm going to deal with you the best way I can." Rebecca then stormed back into her office and slammed the door behind her.

Young Kit Cloudkicker looked at Baloo sadly, worried that Rebecca would do the one thing he feared. "You don't think she'd..." he began to ask, but Baloo cut him off. "Fire me?" he asked, "I don't know, Kit. I don't know..."

Out in the harbor, a freighter came through the cliff entrance, but what was in it's cargo hold was a crate. Contents of this crate: one pirate named Mad Dog. At the same time, beneath the waves of the same harbor... a mini-sub made its way silently toward the east docks. Inside the sub was Hacksaw and Gibber. Gibber was panting hard from having to work so hard to get the sub moving.

"Gibber, stop panting' all over me!" Hacksaw snapped, using his hat to fan the bad odor. "You got bad breath."

And on a million dollar yacht, Dumptruck and Karnage was being surrounded by lovely young women who all wanted to give them a relaxing message in the steam room. "I could really get use to this," Dumptruck said with a smile. Karnage agreed with him on that, as he was given some red wine.

Back on the docks, Baloo sat with head hung low in sadness. "I really messed up Kit," he mumbled, "Becky's not even talking to me!" Kit knew how he felt, because this reminded him of his life with Karnage. "That doesn't mean you're fired yet," he assured him with a smile. "I bet you could find someone who is willing to give you a cargo run."

Baloo's eyes shot wide open. "You're right, Kit," he said. "I know someone who is willing alright."

In the Cape Suzette central park, Karnage, Dumptruck, Gibber and Hacksaw gathered to hear the next part of the plan. "Soon we will begin phase two," Karnage smiled wickedly, "and we will rip off the best banks there are." But Dumptruck suddenly remembered something—or someone. "Hey, where's Mad Dog?" he asked, looking around the park to see if he was around.

Hacksaw smiled and stepped forward placing his hand on Dumptruck's shoulder. "Don't worry!" he said confidently. "He'll be here soon." Karnage looked at him, unable to believe him. "And how will Mad Dog get here?"

"When he gets to the post office, he's going to open his crate-" he said reaching into his coat and pulled out a something. "-with this crowbar I packed him." Hacksaw showed it off to his crew with pride, but Karnage was shocked beyond words. "The crowbar... you packed... with him...?"

Hacksaw then saw that he was in really big trouble. Karnage, Dumptruck and Gibber rolled up their sleeves and got ready to knock his lights out. "Well... crud!" Hacksaw squeaked weakly.

TO BE CONTINUED...


End file.
